Pain
by abby44jones
Summary: Molly isn't your normal school girl, she has a few extra problems which can either make her or break her. (May be triggering/upsetting. Some swearing)
1. Chapter 1

Pain. It won't stop, my head aches more than usual and my vision is blurred. Why is this happening to me? What is going on with my fucked up body? I feel the ground shake and my body flop and before I know it I was out cold.

*Two Hours Later*

I awoke to darkness. As I slowly stood up I banged my arm on the toilet cubicle door and shuddered as the emptiness of the room ran through my veins.

"Hello" I spoke quietly worried my voice would echo. There was no reply.

I opened the toilet cubicle door and stepped out before leaving the place I hated most, school.

The next day I got into school late and ended up being screamed at by my teacher because I hadn't done my homework. The next couple of lessons dragged until it came to dinner time. I wasn't hungry, I never am any more.

My 'friends' hate me and have done for a while now so I am used to being on my own. I decided to go to music because I feel at home there, it's usually empty apart from my teacher and he never minded me being up their.

"Hi Sir" I gave him a brief smile as I entered the large classroom.

"Hello Molly. You not got you're friends with you?"

I shook my head "they fell out with me"

"Why?" he looked at me concerned, he genuinely cared unlike anyone. Unlike my family.

"They decided that because I'm quiet I'm not worth the time"

"Well you're welcome up here any time"

I smiled before going into a small practice room and turning a keyboard on. I played a song I wrote and started to sing along:

_'hiding my feelings away all day_

_not knowing what too say_

_I'm hurting inside and out_

_please, please save me'_

As I stopped I heard clapping, it was Sir.

"You're really good, is that a Molly original?"

I nodded "it's my way of letting everything out"

"What do you need saving from?"

I froze, not only had he heard my singing but he'd also picked up on the lyrics. I quickly thought up a lie "the stress of school"

"Oh" he nodded, he knew I was lying.

Then it happened again, my eyes blurred and my head spun. I grabbed the desk trying to stop myself from falling.

"Are you okay?" he asked worrying.

"Fine" I whispered as everything seemed loud.

"Molly?" he again knew I was lying.

Before I could reply I was gone, blacked out.

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter on my fanfic! Casualty characters will be in the next chapter! Please leave reviews as they can give my suggestions and also if you want certain things to happen either message me or leave a review and maybe I can include it! :)


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter may be VERY triggering as it features self harm. If you need help talk to childline online or call them on 0800 1111

I awoke to a unfamiliar face, it was a doctor. I was is hospital.

"Hello Molly, can you hear me?" she asked shining a light into my eyes.

"Yeah" I whispered "who are you?"

"I'm a Doctor Nichols, you're in the emergency department. Can you remember what happened?"

"Was I in an accident?" I couldn't remember a thing!

"No, you blacked out at school. You're teacher called an ambulance and came in with you"

"Okay" I didn't know what to say, my mind was a whirlwind. "Have you called my parents?"

"Yes but there was no answer"

"Good" I sighed with relief.

"Good? Don't you like them?" Doctor Nichols asked giving away no suspicions with her face.

"They're never interested in me so why should I be interested in them?"

"Okay" her face again gave away nothing but mine gave away everything. "I'm going to have to check you over and do a head scan"

"Why are you doing a head scan? You don't need to check me over" my heart raced, she'd see everything if she checked me over. Everything!

"Don't worry Molly, it's just to be safe. Can I ask you some questions?"

I nodded but worried she'd ask me if I'd ever been abused, not eaten, made myself throw up or if I'd ever hurt myself purposely.

"Okay, have you ever blacked out before?"

I shook my head, if she knew I had then she would have had to do more tests "I just hadn't eaten because I left my food at home after rushing this morning"

"Okay well that explains the low blood pressure. Any headaches?"

"No, it was just because I hadn't eaten!" I shouted a little. "Can you just leave me alone!"

"Okay, I'll organise your scan so you can relax. Do you want me to get your teacher to come in?"

"He's still here?"

She nodded "he seems really worried"

"No, tell him to go back to school"

She rolled her eyes, closed the curtain and wandered off.

Today is too much, I can't take the stress and worry. They will see the cuts, the bruises... everything! What can I do to feel relief? Cut.

I carefully stood up and peered through the curtain, no one would stop me from _'going to the toilet' _would they? I slowly walked out of the cubicle and saw a nurse with a patient, there was a scalpel in a bowl behind him on a table. I carefully slid it into the pocket of my hospital gown then headed for the toilets.

I entered a cubicle and locked the door, I sat staring at the blade. Do I do it and risk them seeing a open wound?

"Do it" a voice in my head whispered "do it"

So I did it. The blood trickled down my wrist and I sighed with relief as I felt _'normal' _but it wouldn't stop bleeding. I'd hit the vein and I soon found myself sat in a puddle of blood, a puddle of shame. The blood dripped onto the floor and a couple of tears fell from my eyes as I realised that I was over. I was going to be found out then when my parents found out I'd be beaten black and blue for disappointing them.

I couldn't think for much longer as the door creaked open and I heard Doctor Nichols voice "Molly? Are you in here?"

I kept my mouth shut and tried to breathe quietly.

"Molly?" she knew I was in here and knocked on the cubicle door quietly "please open the door?" she sounded annoyed.

"I can't" I whispered as a few more tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Why not?" she spoke quickly, obviously fearing I had collapsed again or something bad had happened. Well something bad had happened.

"I just can't..." just as I finished my sentence I noticed a head peer over the top of the cubicle. She'd seen.

"Have you cut yourself?" she asked.

My sobbing became loud as I spoke "yes"

"Okay, well if you open the door we can help you"

"We?" I didn't want anyone knowing.

"The hospital staff, a counsellor, teachers and your parents"

"NO!" I shouted "I don't need help!"

"Well at least let me dress your cuts?" they were bleeding pretty badly.

"Okay" I gave in, I couldn't stay in the cubicle forever so slowly opened the door to see Doctor Nichols looking very relieved.

"Follow me" she gave me a smile hoping to make me smile back but I didn't. she took me back to my cubicle.

Doctor Nichols started to clean the wound "was this the first time?"

I shook my head "I'm just stressed and this makes me feel better"

"Well taking could help instead"

"I have no one to talk to. Everyone hates me"

"What about your teacher or your parents?"

"No" I didn't want to talk to her, or anyone.

She finally grasped that I wasn't up for talking and checked over my other cuts on my arms.

"I'll be right back. I just need to check my other patients" Doctor Nichols left me alone.

I tried to have a sleep in the hospital because maybe I'd wake up and it would all have be a nightmare that my head made up. It wasn't, I woke up and was still in hospital. My head was hurting and my hands were shaking, what am I doing to myself?

I whimpered a little as pain crept through my body, the pain was getting too much as I started to moan louder.

A different doctor came into the cubicle "where's it hurting?" he asked.

"Everywhere" I groaned.

"Okay" he took my arm and attached a tube to the drip in my arm "this should take effect in a few minutes" he stayed with me until I started to feel better.

"Thanks" I nodded and he smiled but then stopped as he got a glimpse of my arm covered in steri-strips and bandages.

"You self harm?" he looked at me with sympathy.

"Yes" I didn't know what else to say to him.

"Why?" he took a seat in the small chair next to the bed.

I shot him a look which could kill.

"Okay you don't have to tell me but I thought it might help"

He seemed to care so I started to speak "I'm lonely, no one likes me"

"When I was at school I had loads of friends"

I interrupted him "and bragging about all your friends will help?"

"Just let me finish" he smirked "we'd all have a laugh and act daft but then one day I had to move house because my foster parents said I was too much for them"

"You're fostered?" I was surprised.

"Yeah, I got moved around a lot after that and lost contact with all of my friends. I had over sixteen different foster placements and each one ended after a couple of months. No one wanted to be friends with the new kid"

"But how are you a doctor if you moved around a lot?"

"Well I had no friends so no distractions. I'd study at home a lot too"

"But you got through the tough times" I grasped the point of his story.

"Yeah and you can too"

I shook my head "you don't know my story"

"Tell me it" he looked at me focused.

My heart raced, if I tell him about the abuse I'll end up in care and have no stability but if I don't I'll be beaten until I can get away.

"My parents... they..." before I could finish my sentence Doctor Nichols entered.

"What are you doing in here Tom?" she looked at him and you could tell there was love in both of their eyes.

"She was in pain and I heard her groaning so we had a talk while she calmed down"

"Okay, can I have a word?" she indicated for him to leave the cubicle so he did and she followed him.

I could see them muttering, they were clearly talking about me. Their eyes flicked from each other to me then back to each other.

I sighed as they returned.

"We think you should stay overnight while we try to get in touch with your parents" Doctor Nichols said watching me closely to see my reaction.

"Great" I rolled my eyes.

"I'm going to stay and we can keep talking" the other doctor sat next me me again, I think she called Tom.

"I'll be back later" Doctor Nichols left us alone.

I left it here as it's getting a little long but I plan to write the next chapter soon if not today! Thanks for the review so far, I can't reply to privet message yet as I made this new account yesterday so have to wait 24 hours *rolls eyes*. I will add a picture to the fanfic later as the 24 hour account thing stops me doing that! Please review anyway and follow! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry if I cause any confusion but I'd forgotten the password to my other account! Remembered it now and will re-upload all of the chapters to that account and continue it on there! My username is abby99jones - fanfic sometimes remove usernames from text so if they do it's abby 99 jones without the spaces! :) Also it should appear VERY soon in the Casualty section with a front cover too! :)


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